Another year. Another birthday. How lucky am I?!? 

About eight years ago in my support group at the hospital, I met a kind, quiet girl named Kay. Always first to volunteer to host a gathering or extend an invitation to join in her holiday plans, Kay's generosity was abundant. She often came to group excitingly doling out some new remedy she found to aid in one of our many, many maladies. No matter how many years passed, Kay never failed to send a card for a birthday, a holiday, or any occasion. Sometimes even just to say hello. 

Three years ago when the group gathered to send me off for my three month journey in Texas to receive my stem cell transplant, Kay was uncharacteristically absent. She had been at the hospital all day after finding a lump in her neck. Six years after her first diagnosis, Kay learned her cancer had also returned. My heart sank. Not sweet Kay.

With a tracheotomy in the ICU this past October, Kay was uncomfortable and suffering. But she wasn't ready to give up her fight. Kay said she, "wanted more time". Kay deserved more time. She was to turn 45 in a month. Unfortunately, Kay didn't have more time. Kay didn't live to see that birthday.   

Kay loved nature, loved her lake house, loved her job as an attorney. Kay loved to travel, loved to run, loved her friends and loved her family. Most of all, Kay loved her husband Rob, who never left her side.

We all loved Kay. And we all would have loved to see Kay celebrate many, many more birthdays. Today I will celebrate my birthday for Kay. 

And for all those who deserved more birthdays, especially, Anne Broccolo Philbin, Jane McCarthy Goodwin, Jim Burns, Liza Marcus, Alison Coleman, Sara Western Garavaglia, Sammy Cipolla, and Claire McCall.

The best birthday present I could receive is your prayers. More specifically, that my scans in March are free of the 'something' on my liver and if not, that I find the grace and courage that those above possessed.

As always, with gratitude,

Jennifer

Hi All, 

This is Jen's cousin Tom Jennings posting for her. 

As many of you may know, Jen goes down to M.D. Anderson every three months for scans and a checkup from her wonderful Doctors and staff at MDA. Jen's last visit was a few weeks ago and  tests revealed something inconclusive that requires monitoring and further testing on her next visit in March.

Please take a moment in your day to say a prayer and send some positive energy Jennifer's way. Jen is such a positive, powerful, supportive person in so many people's lives so I know everyone is good for a quick prayer in support of Jen.  

Many thanks to all who read Jen's blog and who continue to be so supportive of her. 



Psalm 23 

Having a bad day? If so, maybe this will put your troubles in perspective....

In Iowa, three years ago, a fifth grade boy, Drew Wall,  was told he had to lose his leg due to cancer. The cancer then spread to his right lung, five times. He finished his last round of chemo last week. He is due to begin high school in a few weeks. On Friday, tumors were found on his left lung. There are no more chemo options. On his blog he wrote, "After all, I have a lot to be happy about" followed by a list that included not having to vomit from chemo any more, the fact that the tumors are now on the other lung where there is less scar tissue and his prosthetic leg which allows him to run, kick and get lots of attention from girls! He then promised to Live Strong by maintaining a positive attitude through whatever life throws at him.

I promise to Live Strong by trying to be more like this kid.

Drew's CaringBridge page, feel free to leave him a message: Drew Wall CaringBridge

XO,

Jen

Drew speaking to Team Livestrong at the 2010 ride across Iowa

Hi All, 

As July comes to an end, this website has been up for three years now! I have my cousin Tom to thank for creating this amazing place for me to keep people up to date. Although, I must admit to my hesitation to do so, as it feels very egotistical to write about myself. I wonder if the posts are even read and am shocked every time I see the numbers move on the counter, which is almost at 108,500 hits!

While looking at the guestbook page, I was overcome by sadness at seeing one of the last posts. It was from Mary Firth, in November of 2009. You may remember me writing about the Firth family--Molly and I went to the same college. Sadly, Molly died at 36 of a brain tumor. I then wrote about her younger brother who died of the same cancer one year later. He was 32. I also wrote about their sister Mary, who was fighting melanoma. What I didn't write was that she lost her battle in February. Mary was 35. Molly, John and Mary are survived by their parents and two sisters. I can't even begin to imagine what their days are like. All I know is that any time I'm having a bad day, I think of them and realize how very lucky I am.

I owe all that luck to each and every one of you. Each and every one of you that prayed for me, donated, asked about me, sent a card; you are the very reason that I am still alive. For that, I am so grateful. Because of that gratitude, along with the guilt I feel for having survived while others did not, I have realized the importance of making a difference, just as each of you has made a difference in my life. Therefore, I am currently getting my Masters so I can hopefully help other cancer patients as much as other's have helped me.

Please keep up the prayers, as I go to Houston for my three month scans next week. And as always, please keep Chris Coulon in your prayers too. The graft vs. host has been affecting his vision, but he recently recovered from a few other setbacks and is feeling better this week. His spirit is immense!

With love and gratitude,

Jen    

Do you believe cancer should be a global priority?




http://signon.livestrong.org/

Every three months I am given a gift. And not just because my scans showed no tumor growth. As I enter the cancer hospital in Houston, all the insignificant daily hassles of life are left outside the door. As I sit silently in a drab green gown in a cold, sterile room anxiously staring at the door handle for any movement, I feel like an innocent person on trial awaiting a jury deliberation. For once that door opens, I will learn my fate. Will this be the final chapter in my book of life? Those minutes seem to last for hours. Though tortuous, those moments frozen with fear are also a gift, because they are a reminder for me. A reminder of what is important in life. As I look at the people by my side, who have traveled all this way just to sit here with me, who are just as scared as I am, my heart swells. As I think about all the people waiting anxiously for their phones to ring, to hear the results of my scans, I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with gratitude. Overwhelmed with love. As I sit facing my mortality, I am not thinking about the trivial day to day pressures. Instead, I am simply thinking about those I love and those who love me. Love, Jen<< MORE >>

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I recently had a milestone that I didn't think I'd live to see--I turned 40! When I was first diagnosed, I heard about a woman who had just had a recurrence after seven years and I remember thinking that if the same happened to me, I would be almost 40. It seemed unimaginable at the time. And then when I learned of my metastasis, I strived to live three years so I could at least see 40. And here I am. I couldn't have made it without all of the support I received from all of you. How grateful I am.

As most of you know, Elizabeth Edwards passed away. She was diagnosed soon after I was, the first time. I didn't give it much thought then. I didn't give it much thought when her cancer spread to her bones, until I found out that my cancer had spread to my bones a few months later. I remember telling a friend about my metastasis and she said, "Just like Elizabeth Edwards". From that moment on, I knew that I would always compare my condition to hers. When Oprah interviewed her last year, she said, "I just want 10 more years". I hoped she'd have a lot more. And I knew that if she didn't, it would scare me. Unfortunately, I was right. Her death was hard for me, as it was for a lot of people. But knowing that our tumors where in the same spots and had been for about the same amount of time, made me realize even more than I already do, how unpredictable cancer is. And how grateful I am to be 40.

When I was a young girl and would think about the future, about my 40's, I never in a million years pictured myself single, childless and having cancer. And now, 40 seconds don't go by without cancer being in my thoughts. In fact, I can't even remember what it was like not having cancer; to not think about cancer all day, every day. To not think about mortality or wonder how long I have to live. It's with me all the time. All day, every day. When I wake up, cancer. When I shower, cancer. When I eat, exercise, watch TV, read, drive; cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer. Even when I sleep, I dream about cancer. But I am not alone. Today is World Cancer Day and there are 28 million of us living with cancer. My cousin Tom is once again selflessly joining the Livestrong team and will ride his bike across the state of Iowa this July to raise money for all of us who have cancer. All 28 million of us who will never again know what it's like not to worry about cancer. Please go to SUPPORT LIVESTRONG  to support him on this grueling journey. How grateful I am to have people like Tom who care about all 28 million of us.

On Sunday I will be going to Texas, as I do every three months, to be scanned. And no matter what the scans show, I will be grateful that I am still alive.

Love,

Jen

"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful." -Elizabeth Edwards

 

One year ago today, a bright light ceased to shine. Many hearts broke, including mine. Sammy Cipolla was only 21, yet she fought her cancer and accepted her fate with the grace and wisdom of someone way beyond her years. 'Let It be' was the song that played during the procession out of the church at her funeral, which I found to be very fitting. Sammy touched my life in a profound way. Then again, Sammy touched many people's lives.

As many of you know, my cousin Tom rode his bike 442 miles across the state of Iowa this past July to raise money for LIVESTRONG, a foundation that tirelessly aids in the fight against cancer. After many months of hard training in the Texas heat, Tom came down with a cold as he was preparing to leave. Undeterred, he arrived in Chicago only to discover that his connecting flight to Nebraska was canceled and there wasn't another one until the following day. By that time, his LIVESTRONG team would have began their trek. Knowing that the team was on a tight schedule, one he was not going to be able to make, he looked into turning around and going back home. Those flights were oversold for the next three days. He was tired, frustrated, sick and now, stuck. But not for long. His dad/my Uncle Steve, who has been with me every step of the way on my cancer journey, drove to the airport, picked Tom up, drove him to Nebraska (where his bike and gear had been shipped), then drove him to Iowa to meet up with his LIVESTRONG team, then turned around and drove back to Chicago.

So began Tom's 7 day ride across Iowa. In the cold, wet rain. With a cold. As he pushed himself mile after mile, hour after hour, he held in his hand a piece of paper that his wife Jill had given him. Written on it were the names of people he could think about when he got tired, sore and uncomfortable. One of the names was Sammy. And on one particularly rough patch, Tom told me he thought of her and though he was miserable, he continued on. And ended up having the most amazing experience with incredible people who were all working together for a wonderful cause.

My favorite part of the story is the end. As Tom was a few miles from the finish, his chain broke on his bike. Just as the 7 days had started off with things gone wrong, it seemed as though they were now going to end the same way. But once again, it all worked out, as 2 of Tom's teammates rode up along side of him and aided him to the finish. (See picture below)

I am so grateful that Sammy's path crossed mine, even for short time, because she taught me so many valuable lessons. I strive every day to 'Let It Be', just as she did, because when I do, I am over come with gratitude for all of my 'teammates' that have ridden up beside me and are aiding me.


"Live, laugh, love............for me"
Samantha Cipolla
1988-2009

*Chris is out of the rehabilitation center and doing well! He is staying with Steve, going to physical therapy 3 times a week and getting stronger everyday. He's more stable on his cane and was even able to go to the Cubs game with me last week.

*Scans in May were stable again! My doctor called me his 'miracle patient'. As much as I loved hearing that, the flip side is, the other people in the trial aren't doing as well. I was #6 in the trial and #7 did the trial after discovering my web site. Unfortunately, her last scans showed a spot in her liver. The good news is that the chemo has shrunk her tumor. Now lets pray that it gets rid of it all together. Keep all the other people in the trial in your prayers and let's hope I get good results again when I go back in August.

*Celebrated my best friend Ker's 40th birthday a few weeks ago in Minnesota. During her party, a sweet girl came up and introduced herself. She asked how Chris was doing and told me how sad she was when Sammy died. She said that she checks my blog every Monday morning and had been worried since I hadn't posted anything in so long. I was completely overwhelmed after meeting this girl, for so many reasons. First, that this stranger reads my blog. To be honest, I don't post much because I feel vain doing so. But I know how I feel when I'm following someone and I'm anxious to hear their progress, any progress. It's hard for me to realize that I'm the one being checked on. Mostly though, the fact that she asked about Chris and expressed her sadness over Sammy was so touching. People really are so kind.

*Had lunch with Sammy's family last week. It was so nice to spend time with them and hear, once again, about her incredible spirit. I can't even begin to express my gratitude to them for sharing her life with me. She has taught me so many valuable lessons, as have they.

*Please keep Mary Firth in your prayers. Mary is fighting metastatic melanoma and starting yet another trial. You may remember me mentioning her before when I wrote of her sister, who I went to college with, died a of a brain tumor and then again when her brother died last year of a brain tumor as well.

*Megan and I moved into a house eight years ago and four months later I was diagnosed. We moved out of that house two weeks ago and I'm hoping to leave the cancer behind! Now that Megan is engaged and getting married in October, our landlords decided to sell the house. I am now living alone in a new apartment a few blocks away and looking forward to many healthy years here.

*Next week my cousin Tom will start his bicycle ride across the state of Iowa with the Livestrong Foundation in my honor. There are no words to justly express my feelings about this amazing journey for which Tom has volunteered. For months he has tirelessly trained and for an entire week he will ride his bike all day, every day to raise money for those of us who have cancer, in hope of a cure. Not many would do such an act, but knowing Tom, his big heart and his desire to help those in need, I'm not surprised that he has chosen to give not only his time, but his entire self to this cause. If you have not already donated, PLEASE visit his site and support him in this selfless act. DONATE HERE   Thank you!